The hyperemesis gravidarum landed me in the hospital for the first time this week. I’ve been feeling pretty bad for the last couple of days. This morning I called my doctor’s office. She’s out so I had to talk to a different doctor. He had me go into the hospital’s Labor and Delivery ward for fluids.
I felt pretty good while I was there getting fluids. It helped that it was during the time of day that I usually feel good.
I had to explain to a very handsome young doctor about the zofran and the pooping and the enemas. Talk about humiliating.
They send it a paramedic in training to start my IV. Big mistake. I warned him that I’m a tough stick on a good day and this was not a good day. He smiled and said, “Don’t worry, it’s my first time.” I was pretty sure he was joking so I smiled back and said, “I bet you say that to all the girls.” Okay, now what I meant to say was, “I bet you say that to all your patients.” It came out so wrong. I was so embarrassed that I hid under the blanket. What a day.
They took blood (all came back normal).
They ran 2 bags of fluids and 8 mg IV zofran.
I managed to eat some green Jello and some baked potato which made me feel worse.
I managed to pee.
Dr. Hottie came back in, told me I was fine and sent me on my way.
“Just keep taking the Zofran. If you feel persistent nausea or dizziness, come back in.”
I said, “That’s hillarious.” I wasn’t smiling.
My doctor’s office was supposed to have home health set up for me. I wanted to be going home to either continuous fluids at home or a zofran pump or both.
What did I go home with? “Just keep taking the Zofran. If you feel persistent nausea or dizziness, come back in.” Freakin’ hillarious. Also, I should take colace for the constipation. *facepalm*
We came back, picked up the Grasshopper from daycare on the way home, made it home, and I threw up whatever was left in my stomach. I felt much better afterward.
I feel like crap.
I have an appointment with my own doctor on Wednesday morning. It cannot come soon enough.
Also, I totally forgot it was Valentine’s Day, so the Grasshopper didn’t have any cards or candy to give out to her friends. So to top everything off, I feel like the worst mom in the world.