Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Home Health, and the Hospital Yo-yo

medicine-thermometer-tablets-pills

That is the best title I can come up with.  Went to the hospital again Wednesday and came home that night.  In and out, back and forth. Like a yo-yo.

Thursday afternoon Alere came out to start ivs and a zofran pump.  Had that going since Thursday afternoon around 4.  They gave me lactated ringers.

Yesterday my Ketones were 4+.  Today they are 3+.  Still bad.  Yesterday I threw up so hard I couldn’t breathe.  It was a really bad day.

Baby looks good.  I wish this would just end but I make healthy babies.  I think wishing I could have a miscarriage makes me a pretty awful person but I am too sick to care.

I had a little meltdown this morning and cried and cried and cried.  I am trying hard not to look down the time tunnel, but that’s hard to do.

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19 thoughts on “Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Home Health, and the Hospital Yo-yo

  1. Hang in there! I am going through the same thing, only about 4-5 weeks ahead of you. (I also have a daughter, Analise, she will be 2 in March).
    Have had the zofran pump for about 2 weeks now. It’s not without its own set of issues but seems to help. I do feel better than I did without it. Throw up alot less.
    Don’t look down the time tunnel.
    Just take it one day at a time.

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  2. Praying for you and your sweet little one. I know what it is like to wish for a miscarriage, because I’ve been there twice. But your sweet baby WILL be in your arms, and soon. Lots of hugs.

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  3. Aww, sweetie – I’m so sorry! HG does not and never will take us to our happy place. You are one incredible Mama and the gift of a sibling for Gabi will be worth all of this. That being said, wishing for a miscarraige is totally understandable. I mean, who in their right mind would want to puke up their guts for months on end? Hang in there – we’re all here with ya rooting for ya. You can and will make it to the end of this horrible thing and will have a precious bundle to show for all the misery!

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  4. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Thinking about miscarriage isn’t something you should be ashamed of. I’ve been there, and I know others have as well. I don’t believe thinking about things makes things happen, I don’t think we have that much power in this world. I know some would disagree with me, but I don’t care. In the middle of it, it feels like a lifetime, but this will go by in the blink of an eye…you’ve done it before, and all that love you have for Gabi made it worth it. It’ll be the same this time around. I’m sorry you have to suffer for your babies. I’m sorry we all had to. It’s not fair, and sometimes pity parties are the only things that are appropriate.

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  5. I am so sorry you’re going through this! You are not an awful person- I would probably be wishing for a miscarriage, too, in your shoes. I wish I could hop on a plane and fly out there to help you!! Just know that I am sending gentle hugs and prayers for strength for you.

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  6. Praying for you! I’m so sorry it’s been such a terrible week. Been there- it makes me hurt for you! And as for wishing for a miscarriage- join the club. Right or wrong, HG makes you wish it. It just does. Of course, we’re so happy when it’s all over and it didn’t happen, but in the midst of it all, it’s hard not to just wish to be free and have your life and health back. Hang in there, Mommy! One moment at a time.

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  7. I have found myself fantasizing about miscarriages lately too. It’s a scary thing to know that our thoughts can get that dark, but HG is a living Hell. I’m so sorry for what you are going through – for what we are going through. I wish I could get home care and a pump. Praying for both of us. I hope you can get your HG under control. Just know you’re not alone.

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  8. You are not an awful person. You are brave and strong and putting yourself through hell for a very noble cause.

    You’ve already posted your views on rights, so I’ll just say that those times when you hope for a miscarriage, you are no more wrong than those people who realize that they cannot continue with the pregnancy. Those times come. Sometimes they don’t go. There’s nothing wrong with you if that happens.

    I wish I could take some of what you’re going through away for you. Please, please don’t feel like you’re a bad person for being sick of being sick.

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  9. Pal, I think I’d be worried about your sanity if you did not wish to be out of this situation. You’re really only wishing for restoration of health/cessation of daily torture. So try to let go of the guilt, because it will not serve you now. Get very narrow-minded, and focus the pinpoint of your energy on getting through each minute.

    You can do this. When I was in your shoes, and it was so early on, it was terrifying. I “get” that. I was 5 weeks and in the hospital with IVs and freaky reactions, and nurses would come in and go, “Oh my gosh, you’re ONLY FIVE WEEKS!?” Every fiber of my being screamed, “I CANNOT DO THIS ANOTHER DAY.” But it was a lie from the pit of hell, girlfriend, and to prove it a sassy lassie sits watching Elmo on my living room couch at this very moment. But you know all that. You prepped like crazy, but HG always takes us off guard, because it’s just so freaking bad. BUT it can be defeated. It’s the hare, you’re the tortoise. It’s a slow game, but you know how the story ends. Speaking of stories: you’re the bunny in the book, Mama! But only for a while. Take it one second at a time. DO NOT GIVE UP. YOU CAN DO THIS.

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  10. Me again. Hope you are doing a little better with the home IV’s and zofran pump. Not to be yet another person to make annoying suggestions of things to try, but as we are experiencing parallel hells, when I find something that works, I think of you. So here it is…freeze capri suns, cut off the tops and eat them with a plastic spoon. Not bad. Beats making juice ice cubes.
    Also, be sure to keep up on the colace with that zofran pump. Especially once you are done with the IV. Hang in there!!!!

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  11. Oh I’m so feeling your pain right now. I’m 19 +1 and still suffering, was in hospital most of last week getting re-hydrated and re-stabilised to come home to my daughter. Fortunately, I live in the UK so, I don’t have to deal with the cost of it. ❤

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  12. I feel for you. I was in your exact place this time last year. It is so hard and you just want to die. Only take one day at a time, finish one week and move on to the next. Looking too far ahead makes the journey look impossible. I spent a lot of time looking at my children and telling myself all this suffering was worth it. Look at your daughter….I promise it will help.

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  13. Hey, Little Mama,
    There isn’t a day that I don’t think about you. I know you can’t post and respond but please know that you have a world full of HG Sisters who wish we could absorb that ungodly discomfort and make your life more bearable as you grow precious life inside. Unfortunately, we can’t physically do that.

    Instead we pray for you and look forward to that wonderful day when you hold that little one in your arms.

    Hang in there, my friend. Like Ashli said…YOU CAN DO THIS.

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  14. I check your blog everyday, even though if you update I will get it in my email. It’s just my way of thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. And it is so heartwarming to see how many people care for you and are rooting for you and your family.

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