I think my hyperemesis gravidarum is weird. For the most part food smells and thinking of foods are not triggers. That doesn’t mean I can eat any old thing, but it does make life easier in that I don’t have to make my family cook in the garage.
It’s things like certain soaps, my husband’s deodorant, and the air itself.
I tried to explain this air thing to a friend of mine yesterday, and I think it’s worth explaining here. Maybe this will give you all an insight into what I’m experiencing. Maybe y’all will just think I’m nuts.
Let me start on something only tangentially related. Raise your hands please if you are familiar with what a halocline is. That’s okay. I didn’t expect everyone to know this. I know because I watch way too many Nat Geo documentaries.
At any rate, let me try to explain my understanding of haloclines. Areas of water with different salinity have different densities. Salt water is more dense than fresh water. If you have still water (like in a cave), and the lower part is, say ocean water, and the upper, lighter portion is fresh water, the water will stratify. It will remain separated with the fresh water floating on top of the sea water. Like oil and vinegar.
In between those two layers you would see a blurry portion where the waters meet. That’s the halocline. Hold that image in your mind.
Okay, stay with me. The air in my house does the same thing. Instead of being stratified by salinity, the air is stratified by temperature. The upstairs air is warmer and rests on the cooler downstairs air.
As I walk down the stairs, there is a point where I pass through that oil/vinegar/halocline barrier. It is the smell that creates, the smell of the air mixing as my movement stirs it, that smells so horrifying. I can’t describe the odor it creates, but it’s a very specific and awful smell.
Opening the doors and windows does the same thing. The outside air doesn’t stink, and neither does the inside air. However, as they mix they produce that awful and specific smell.
It is magnified by the refrigerator. The temperature difference is so powerful that the smell of that mixing air rolls over me like a steam-roller. I hate the refrigerator with the white hot passion of a hundred burning suns.
Am I crazy? I can assure you that this smell is not something I am making up. There’s no power of suggestion at play here. I don’t see the refrigerator doors open and imagine the smell. I can tell if someone opens the refrigerator even if I am upstairs in bed. I can smell the air mixing. I can smell the cooler air diffusing through the house.
It’s like I have a freakish super power. I can smell the movement of the atoms. Can I please trade this crappy super power in for something cooler like flight or invisibility or something?
Other fun things from the past couple of days? More nausea, ptyalism, etc. This sucks. Stop the world. I wanna get off.