I had a comment on my most recent post that really got me thinking about what hyperemesis gravidarum is like and what constitutes typical HG.
Here’s the comment from Janet at http://babymakesusfive.blogspot.com/:
“I am so happy for you! You are not letting your HG win this time!!
ps I must say that I am a bit jealous that I was not able to be as well as this.”
First of all, thanks so much for reading and commenting. I so appreciate your well-wishes. I also appreciate you being courageous enough to mention your feelings of jealousy at how quickly mine seems to be wrapping up. I appreciate your honesty, and I very much appreciate and validate your feelings.
But you made me think: Might my experience with HG this time around give people a skewed picture of what HG can be for women? The last thing I want is for someone to read my blog and then turn around and tell one of my HG sisters, “Well, I read online that it should clear up by week 13. So you should be fine by now. Why aren’t you fine?”
So I wanted to take a moment and just remind my dear readers that every HG pregnancy is different. Many women find that the HG begins to let up a bit around week 20. For my first pregnancy, I didn’t start feeling better until week 16 or so. Some suffer their entire pregnancies with HG.
I’m not sure why it eased up so quickly for me this time. It was very, very intense when it was happening, but it eased up at around 12 weeks. Part of this makes me wonder: Did I have just morning sickness? Was it really HG? But then I remember the needles, and the 12 lbs gone in two weeks, and the needles, and the ER doctor crouching by my bedside softly tell me he was going to do his best to help me feel better but my nutrient levels in my blood were all screwed up and they might need to put me on TPN if they couldn’t get it under control and crying and telling him that I didn’t want to destroy my liver, and more needles, and the unsuccessful PICC lines, and my mom trudging upstairs constantly bringing me ice cubes and reminding me to suck on them so I wouldn’t have to get the line into my chest. Yeah, the hyperemesis gravidarum was real. Even as the memory fades, it was real. For some reason, though, it was short this time around.
I feel almost normal now. Maybe it’s because I’m on the Zofran pump and getting 39 mg of Zofran pushed into my body each day. The other meds probably help, too. I know I am not normal. I can’t live my life in a normal way. I tire too easily. If I forget to eat, the nausea comes back. I need help to do so many basic things: cooking, helping my daughter go potty and take a bath, getting food at the store, etc.
But comparatively, I do feel really good. In that sense I am blessed. I am so lucky, but it’s just that: luck. There are so many of my HG sisters who are not so lucky.
To all of you who haven’t been so lucky, I send my love. If my luck means you need to not read my blog for a while, that’s okay. If it makes you feel sad and jealous, that’s okay, too. Please allow yourself to feel your feelings. I would never, ever want to cause harm to any of you.