Third Trimester Grace

I don’t have it.

I’m not talking about physical grace.  Obviously I don’t have that.  It’s hard to waddle gracefully and moving around requires plenty of grunting and groaning.

I’m talking about social grace.  Emotional grace.  That almost transcendant zen-like glow that some pregnant women seem to have.

I want to stab those transcendent glowy ladies with a plastic fork.

(Gee, Molly.  Tell us how you really feel!)

Look, I’ve got heartburn, alright?  And not just heartburn.  Reflux, too.  Reflux is really special because it doesn’t hurt.  Isn’t that nice?  It just means my food comes out of my stomach and into my mouth when I lay down, bend over, burp, lean the wrong way, or forget to take my Nexium.

Also, my back hurts.  And my hips.  And my legs.  Especially at night when I just want to get some sleep already.  I lay on my left side and the left leg starts to ache.  I hoist my giant self over onto my right side, and my right leg starts to ache.  If I accidentally roll onto my back, I wake up dizzy and nauseated.

And you know what else?  The hyperemesis gravidarum is STILL HERE!  Okay, it’s less like 1st trimester HG and more like a perpetual hangover, but it’s there and I am tired of it.

Apparently I’m also huge.  And my baby is going to be huge.  And aren’t I scared?  This is according to my coworkers.  Thanks guys.  Rule #1 of talking to a pregnant woman.  Tell her she looks gorgeous and leave it at that.  I’m honestly not worried about having a big baby.  Fat squishes.  I’ll birth this baby just fine.  My midwives are not concerned, and neither am I.  But nothing makes me feel like the love child of Humpty-Dumpty and a hippopotamus than being told how enormous I am.

All of this means that I am exceptionally cranky at the moment.  No, I don’t want to hear about your cold.  I’ve been living with a perpetual hangover (at best!) for the last 8 months.  I don’t care how sick you are, get out of my cubicle and take your germs with you.  I don’t want to hear about how tired you are because you stayed up late last night watching this really good movie.  I went to bed at 9 PM.  I couldn’t sleep.  I’m tired, too.

“Molly’s not here right now.  These are her hormone’s speaking, how can we help you today?”

Mostly, I’m just done.  I am so over being pregnant.  I’m at 34 weeks and 4 days.  At 36 weeks I’ll be full term and the baby is welcome to choose her birthday any day at that point.

I’m counting down.

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5 thoughts on “Third Trimester Grace

  1. Oh I love this post! Not because you are suffering, but because it truly tells it as it is. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much and I totally “get it”. My HG has increased no end over the past three weeks and added to that is the indigestion, the heartburn, the fear the HG will get as bad as it was in 1st trimester before I reach full term and now I have cold/flu like symptoms, dizziness, eczema and mouth ulcers to add to the lot (all of which are my body’s usual signs that it just is not coping anymore!) My poor husband had to live with an extremely grumpy wife the other day and it’s a good job school’s out and I’m no longer at work because I think I might just have bitten the head of some of the kids when they started fighting for the umpteenth time over the most ridiculous thing. I’m normally so patient, but right now third trimester with HG is winning out on the “who’s going to control my mood” front.

    I’ve said before I don’t know how you’re still working. I know it is something you need to do rather than something you want to, but I honestly have no idea how you’re coping. I say that all those colleagues of yours who get the sharp end of your tongue deserve it, because frankly if they cannot see you are struggling and have the ignorance to come and complain to the heavily pregnant lady that they are tired or feeling rough then they need a kick back into reality! Ha, pregnancy makes me very intolerant of thoughtless remarks and behaviour.

    One last thing, I am confused over the full-term date. Over here you’re not classed as full term until 37 weeks. I’m now 35 and a half so thinking I might be full-term by Sunday is very exciting, but I wonder why we have different dates? Is this another one of those weird inconsistencies, like when I couldn’t figure out when the third trimester officially began because of all the different dates suggested?

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  2. You are doing such an awesome job, congrats on hanging in there!!

    I’m fascinated to hear your comment about lying on your back, because lying on my back is a nausea-inducer too. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one – I wonder what the mechanism is!

    I know this is elementary (forgive me if you’ve tried this), but have you tried sleeping with one or more pillows between your legs? For me that helps immensely with leg and hip pain.

    You are doing so well!! 🙂

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  3. Molly, I am so sorry that you are suffering so much. Are you planning to work right up to the expected date? I hope that you don’t have too large a baby. My Paul weighed 11 1/2 lbs.at birth.
    Love you, honey,
    Grandma Wilma

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  4. Firstly, You should realize that having gone through what you have gone through and fighting this fight, well that takes a tremendous amount of grace, and so you do have it, its jsut not manifesting it in dewy glowing skin 🙂

    second, I don’t usually repost things, in fear of it coming off as spam, but I saw a good living social deal today, and it was for miami, but it is an internet deal, so it is really good for everyone, but others who are not subscribed to miami might not see it. Anyway its an eco friendly product site, for baby, kid and mom gear. $20 to spend on $40 worth of stuff. They have the g diapers and some other products you have mentioned.
    http://livingsocial.com/deals/107253-40-to-spend-on-baby-and-kids-gear-accessories?msdc_id=822&ref=FTLDeal082411_129_9256email

    If anyone is interested

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  5. Again, I’m sorry for not responding to everyone’s comments here. It was a rough week, capped off by an unpleasant weekend. I’ve been hiding from my blog.

    I really and truly appreciate the support. I’m definitely not ignoring it. Each of your messages means so much to me.

    I just needed to be under a rock for a while.

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